Laserblast Review
Is
this the star wars knock off you were needing all your life? Let’s
find out!
The
Scores
Interest:
2/10
Acting:
2/10
Storyline:
2/10
Intensity:
2.5/10
Fights
Guns or Otherwise: 3/10
Nudity:
0/10
Director
Score: 1/10
Musical
Score: 4/10
Dialogue:
3/10
Logic
In The Film: 5/10
Laserblast
is a 1978 film. It is a horror sci-fi film. Run time is one hour and
twenty-five minutes. The three main stars of the film are Kim Milford
(Known for Laserblast, Mannix, Ciao Manhattan, and Wired to Kill),
Cheryl Smith (Known for Cinderella, Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the
Supernatural, Up in Smoke, and The Incredible Melting Man), and
Gianni Russo (Known for The Godfather, Super Mario Bros. Rush Hour 2,
and The Family Man). The Director is Michael Ray (Known for Aliens
Gone Wild, Laserblast, and Sinner’s Blood). Let’s take a look at
the categories shall we?
Interest:
The interest to me for the film was lacking severely. It is boring,
slow, and just plain bad. Nothing happens for the majority of the
film, and what does happen that is fun to watch, or makes you care,
is just twenty minutes of the film. I didn't like much of this film
at all.
Acting:
This films acting was okay, passable even. The main girl (Kathy), her
grandfather in the film was probably the best actor (And he’s only
in the film for 5 or 10 minutes tops), everyone else just lacked
range, depth, or what even seems like caring. If it was marketed and
shot slightly different as a stoner movie, it may have worked out
though.
Storyline:
The storyline of the film is simple, so simple that it is almost
insulting. It doesn’t have holes I suppose, but it is just lack
luster at the very best, I never found it engaging, interesting, or
even fun. I forced myself with this one to just power though.
Intensity:
If there was any intensity in the film Laserblast, I felt exactly
1.2% and that was from the grandfather in the film. Otherwise, any
action scene that happened, and anything that might be something to
turn up the intensity, came off corny, funny, or just completely
lame. Even the BFAG (Big Fraggin Alien Gun) Couldn’t make this film
that intense. It was a cool prop though, and hope I notice it in
other films.
Fights,
Guns or Otherwise: The fights in the film were lame. The BFAG can’t
even save this category. It is used several times throughout the
movie, but it is never really a good shoot out or anything, it is
almost always a single shot, and things turn to dust. It’s no fun
and not interesting. And as for verbal quips, nothing to harsh is
done, except from this grandfather. And even then it’s a single
scene, that is all we get for this, it’s frustrating!
Nudity:
I just can’t break away from this trend where I feel like nudity
could have been a redeeming quality of the film, to at least make it
entertaining for some reason at all. Just anything. I know it
wouldn’t of helped with the plot at all, but just something to
break up the monotony of it all.
Director
Score: This director is not a fantastic director. I think he can pick
decent people from just viewing this film, but he can’t make a
scene come to life past people talking. Or an action scene happen
very quickly. Nothing can be sustained, nothing has a later payoff,
there are no twists to happen.
Musical
Score: The musical score is actually decent in the film. The music I
believe it is an original score (Can’t find info on it), and the
score is used decently to add to the mood of scenes and the ambiance.
Some of the music is also just used as a prop for a scene, played
from a boombox or something in the movie. All in all the music is
decent.
Dialogue:
The Dialogue is bland and boring and nothing really that is exciting
or fun. Some lame pot jokes, some very uninspired talk about dating,
alien’s, and parties. If the movie was a silent film besides the
special effects making noise, the film would probably be better for
it.
Logic
in the Film: The logic in the film isn’t bad. Nothing completely
breaking the film in any way that makes it feel less logical. Physics
behave as they should, no cars fly off for fun or anything. How they
deal with finding the alien weapon, the main character just uses it,
doesn’t get anyone to be concerned about it and just eventually
goes on a killing spree.
So,
did I like the movie? I hated it honestly. Do I suggest it? No, no I
don’t. If you want to rip on movies, this movie is a prime
candidate for that, but if you are all by yourself and it happens to
be a time when you want to watch a Star Wars knockoff (Erhm May the
4th or May 5th) it should not be watched unless
you just absolutely hate yourself and fantasy and sci-fi genres! I
wish I’d not wasted my time on this film. I give it a 24.5%. It’s
terrible and I hope none of you ever watch it. Until Next Time!
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